Hermana Gutierrez! She's the best!
Sister Martinez! Also the best!
Susie!!!
This week has been quite a trying week and I've learned quite a few things. Hopefully I will have them time to write everything that I've learned over the last year, I mean week.
So it all started with TUESDAY! We had been looking all week for investigators to take to the farewell testimony meeting of the departing missionaries. We had found for that had promised to be there but they couldn't give us a ride because they were all riding together (all from the same family.) You are suppose to attend these things with you investigators because ya know, a spiritual experience with their missionaries, plus missionaries who had taught them in the past, what would be a better experiences? Well, the problem was that we couldn't find a ride up there for the life of us. We had asked everyone on the face of the planet to take us but everyone was "busy". We were devastated. After dinner, we were traveling back to Patterson to visit some people and we both looked at each other and were like, "what do we need to be doing right now?" We said a prayer and we both felt like we needed to be at the farewell testimonies. Although it is strongly frowned upon, we went to the testimony meeting in a mission vehicle and guess what, not one of our investigators showed up. We were so devastated. they promised us they were going to be there and when we called they were like "yeah, we are getting ready to leave." Me and Sister Martinez were HEART broken. We basically just spent the whole time crying, well I guess I spent the whole time crying. We decided we needed to say because there was reason we felt that we needed to be there. I'm so glad we stayed. I got to hear Cody give his departing testimony and let me tell you all, he did New Albany proud. He bore the sweetest testimony of the Savior and His love for us. The spirit touched my heart so strongly and I felt like I need to study the Saviors life more and follow His example and sincerely pray to the Father in His name.
After Cody's comments, President Palmer spoke and I loved what he had to say. He talked about how it is all about our choices. We either choose to life the gospel or we choose not to. We choose to be obedient or we choose not to be. We choose the Lords plan or we choose the Devils plan, it is up to us. I can find as many excuses to be disobedient as I want, or I can find as many way so be obedient as I want. It all depends on how I want to use my agency. I know that sounds so simple and "duh" but I had never thought of it like that before. I can choose to and show Heavenly Father that I love Him or show Him that I don't really care. I get the choice. I'm so grateful that I was able to feel that spirit there and have that planted to my heart and be able to apply that to the coming months of my mission. I'm glad we listened to the spirit and I got the learn that important principle in a different way.
This week has been a little challenging for many reasons but one of them is that Hna Martinez and I just felt like we weren't really getting anywhere with the branch and they were a little unhappy with us and we just weren't really on the same page. We felt like drones and we weren't really progressing.
We felt lost in the work and we were praying for what we should do. I was feeling really down in the dumps so I went back to some emails I had printed off when I was in my big depression state. I read one that mom sent to me about charity and how it never fails. Man, that relief society really knows something, aye? I realized I had forgot charity a little bit. I was contacting people and riding my bike because I felt like I was forced to, not because I loved them as my spirit brothers and sisters. Once I was reminded of that, I felt like my week really changed. I was helping out the ward council because I loved them and I love this branch and I want to see it grow, not because I was being told to and it was my role. I was doing it out of love for the people and also the Savior. Another thing that had been brought back to my memory.
The last thing I've been struggling with is all the information I have now, that I didn't have at the beginning of my mission! I ponder on the things that I've learned the last few transfers and I'm like "I was so lazy at the beginning of my mission and I'm still lazy! I've got to whip into shape!" As I learn more and more I feel so guilty for the time that I had wasted in the past and it is hard for me to remember that "I didn't know that back then, I've just go to apply it to the time I've got left." I imagine most of my life will be like that, in marriage, parenting etc. I'll have I wish I would have known moments and I'll have to use the atonement to get through them. I'm so glad that the Lord is teaching me this lesson now so I don't have to struggle though it in a few years!
I'm so grateful for this time that I have here on the mission. I'm learning so much and I hope it will give me what I need to be a good member of the church when I get home. I want this experience to change me and make me the instrument I need to be in the Lords hands. thank you for all the prayers you give to the missionaries and those serving around you. You would be surprised the boost it gives them to continue on in the hard times.
I love you all,
Hermana Porter.
Saying bye to Elder Lino. He is from Peru!!
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